To much thinking
Oddness. The rather oddness of journies to come and thoughts of ones past. Oh, how they intertwine sometimes. See, some time ago... When I was younger. I was confronted with a realization. While I watched a friend leave this world at such a young age because of something as trivial as a highschool fight... I realized that we only see, do, and become so much... That is true if you live your life asleep and in the dark as to what it is Life truely has to offer. I once put a quote in a book that was to somehow "describe me" or whatever. That quote was
- "I'm more scared of being nothing, than I am of being hurt." -
I look back on that and think maybe it could use a re-do.
- "I'm more worried of seeing, doing, and being nothing, than I am of being hurt." -
Ever since the day He took up for me when I was hurt, I've never had that friend that you're always there with that you're always doing everything of every moment with. I've pretty much been a "loner", wether I wanted to be or not. I've known true friendship and strive for that whenever I feel that connection again although it may not always work. I try and do whatever I do with the most energy I can put in to it. It may sound wierd but I let my friends that leave this world live vicariously through me.
Whatever it is they wanted to do I do it for them and me. They would have done the same for me and since they basically gave their lives living the many freedoms we endure I feel honored to do these things.
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chris_pettus's journal